I should be writing. It's my lunch break. That's usually when I try to have this written by. I've been doing so well, too. Every day, taking my time to jot some thoughts down. Keep the creative juices flowing.
See, I want my living to be made being creative. Making something. Something beautiful. I want to add beauty and happiness into the world. I think that's why I have always been drawn to Hollywood. Sure, there are some terrible things about the entertainment industry but can you really say that there's never been a time in your life when you were in a terrible mood or depressed and a movie or TV show cheered you up?. . . Brought a smile to your face and made you feel just a little better.
I've spent a lot of my life sad. Not always in the bad way, mostly in the unfulfilled way. In that way where you spend a lot of your day doing the same old thing but thinking in the back of your mind, "there has to be more to life than this. What the hell am I doing?" Sometimes I think the world is caught up in doing things one way, because that's the way they've been done. Maybe this can be broken down into families, you are taught about life based on things that other people have seen work. But perhaps (just like in a job where you come in with fresh eyes) there is a better way to do things. Perhaps getting a job and doing it 5 days a week for the better part of your day (grumpily, I might add), saving for retirement, and then retiring isn't the best way to do it. Perhaps it is simply the most common.
I feel like I've spent my whole life in conflict from what I wanted to do and what I was told to do. This conflict is coming to a head. It's at a point where I can barely take doing it this way anymore. Please do not read that in a desperate sense. I'm not off the deep end and I'm also not going in to quit my day job. This is a game of inches, remember? Each day I'm trying to move an inch or two closer to the creative life that I want so one day soon I'll have realized I've actually moved a mile away from the life I had that did not fulfill me.