We officially conquered a raw diet. . . for 20 days. And now that it's over, it's over. I felt awesome, but I was so hungry! I don't feel hungry anymore, but I feel like dirt. If anything I feel like not eating because I feel so bloated when I try to go back to eat normally. And for some reason I've decided this matters.
Mostly I feel like I'm supposed to have something to say. I lost 8 lbs. I felt so comfortable in my body. I felt like I was allowed to have my boyfriend be attracted to me again. But why do I need all that? Why can't I allow that now? I wanted to use this to feel amazing. But I have more realized that I want to feel amazing all the time because I know I can feel amazing, not because I purchased and ate certain food (though, I do know raw food has a higher vibration than cooked food and believe that's better for me).
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So we have been eating [mostly] only raw foods since Friday (today is Monday). Why do I say mostly? Because, for real, I’m not not drinking a splash of cashew milk in my banana, spinach, and avocado smoothie. I’m not not drinking tea because the tea leaves were heated so they don’t mold. Is it as healthy and good? Probably not but I want a warm cup of herbal tea because it’s cold. And I want a dash of hot sauce on my giant plate of raw vegetables to make them taste amazing. So would some people say this isn’t 100% raw? Definitely. We are definitely not making ourselves crazy and insane over every tiny bit of anything that goes in our mouths. But we aren’t using that as an excuse to put commercial ketchup on our food either. We just want to see if this makes us feel better. Feel more able to enjoy and experience life by energizing our bodies with lots of raw, unprocessed fruits and vegetables. I think we can do that and put a little hot sauce (that does have a little sugar) on our food. You don’t have to agree. Jody realized he wasn’t sure the last time he had an apple. I mean, how crazy is that? That we used to avoid fruit because of the sugar. . .
So how is it going? Well, there are donuts in the break room at work so that’s pretty lame but I’m pretty unphased to be honest. We made the child a sausage with his dinner of raw jicama, carrot, and cucumber salad (we try to serve as an example of how to treat his body, but we don’t believe in forcing an extreme way of eating on him until we try it out first. If we get done with these 20 days and we’re like, “it’s the holy grail,” well then we’re probably not going to do that. . .). Jody said his mouth was watering over the sausage. It honestly smelled salty and ick to me. I really don’t feel like I notice much. I don’t feel extra hungry. I don’t feel like cheating. However, it is only day 4 so it’s pretty early to say. I did a pretty decent workout yesterday (Insanity) and we moved around a ton of furniture in the house so I guess my energy levels are pretty good. I did have a wicked headache Friday night (day 1). It could have been purely coincidence. To be fair, I feel a bit beat today as well. . . but nothing too bad. So here we are. On day 4. Go us! So we’re trying this new thing. As we do. Because I’m always on a quest for better. To feel better. To be better. To live better. To live more simply and this seemed to fit all of those things. Jody and I are trying a 20 day raw challenge. Why raw, you ask... Well, because it sounded good. I listen to this comedian/amazing inspirational dude, Kyle Cease, and he said that his life was changed by eating raw for 90 days. And I thought to myself, gee, a) I have digestive problems, this could be good and b) I want a changed life!
First we were going to do a month. I don’t know why. Then we were going to do 2 weeks because, well, frankly that sounded easier and more than enough time to see the effect on my digestion and energy. And this was going to happen on January 2nd. So we had time to play with recipes and make some side dishes that were raw and learn more about it. Then two days ago we realized we were low on groceries and we should just do it now until Thanksgiving. So 20 days it is. My goal is to do this and then blog everyday about what we did and what we learned. Today, so far, I’ve had a mango and fermented cauliflower so food wise, not much to report. But what I did learn is that a lot of teas are heated to keep them from molding. Now, I can’t say I won’t have tea this entire time. More food for thought. So far I really just feel hungry. Since were shopping tonight I don’t have a lot of snacks prepared for moments like this so today will likely be one of the hardest days. So stay tuned! Hopefully I’ll have some interesting things to report on throughout this journey... I'm very excited to find myself with some time to work on my blog. I've been spending a lot of time teaching Essential Oils classes, focused on developing my Reiki practice, and working on Jody's cooking stuff that I haven't found much time to do this. I can't wait until I am working full-time on only what I love and can make time for this regularly. I love to write. I feel compelled to write. When we hiked the 46 high peaks in the Adirondacks I really wanted to share that story with everyone. Boyfriend and I sold his college bar and then just randomly started hiking some seriously challenging mountains. It was a pretty crazy adventure and I just felt like I had something to share. It wasn't that I didn't have the time or didn't want to write about it. It was that I focused on doubting myself. I focused on the voice in my head that told me that no one cares about the blurbs we write about going up a mountain.
I'm not sure I was wrong about our hiking stuff. But what I think it could have done was made me a better writer. What it could have done was make me used to admitting that I love to write and being vulnerable in front of people. What it also could have done was lead me into something else to write about. What I do know is that not writing was not the answer. Why do we criticize ourselves so much? Why are we do hard on ourselves? Why do we not follow our gut when it says to do something. This actually (oddly enough unintentionally) brings my back to Wayne Dyer. I borrowed his CD set "Making the Shift" and have been listening to it in the car. He talks about animals and how they don't do anything, they just are. He talks about a bumble bee that just is a bumble bee. No one tries to make it anything else. In contrast, us humans do all sorts of things that we are not inspired to do. And we know in our gut it's wrong! We feel it! I feel it every day when I go to work. I don't hate my job. Jody corrects me all the time and he's right. I don't. There are a LOT of things I really love about my job. But I feel in my gut that I have a different "dharma" . . . there is something else that I am meant to be. I challenge you to every day try to listen in to your intuition more. I'm not going to tell you to up and quit your job. I mean, if you have the guts to do that. . . DO IT! Maybe you're inspired to start a blog. Maybe you're inspired to call someone out of the blue. . . it doesn't have to be something hard. And it doesn't have to be about a life path. But maybe if you open up that line of communication with your intuition or higher self you will get more and more guidance. If you're someone looking to live your divine purpose, you may find that as this line of communication opens up and you follow your heart more you will find yourself one day full of passion and purpose for something you would have never thought. Next thing you know, you'll be living a full life of purpose. I listen to a lot of podcasts. I listen to comedy, horror, fiction, business, and personal podcasts and even ones that would fit in more than once category. Lately I have been a frequent listener of "The Pat Flynn Show" where you learn to be a Generalist. The one I listened to today was an interview with Dan John. Now that man is a generalist. He mentions this on his blog if you want to look it up but he also mentioned in this episode how he maintains balance in his life. He balances work, rest, playing, and praying. That is one thing I am struggling with, balance. I realized I am certainly not incorporating all of those things into my life. What I loved most about this was it wasn't just someone telling me to find balance in my life. It is actually a way to balance my life. It's the method with which to do so.
Let me first say that "pray" is not something I do. But I do meditate. I do practice self Reiki. "Pray" is whatever you do to to connect with your spirit. However you choose to connect with your soul. At least as far as I see it. . . Some people enjoy a lovely session on a kayak. Or a warm bath (or hot tub if you can be so lucky). I feel like all of that counts as pray as long as you are taking a quiet moment to connect with the moment. I like to meditate, but I have not done so in a long time. That part of my life is out of balance. I don't rest much either. I wake up tired from trying to stay up later just so my partner and I have time to be together. We play. Sort of. We have had concerts and trips we have planned but they have almost turned into work with our life so out of balance. And without those three things, work is torturous. Not only do I feel like I am only working. . . but I struggle to work. I'm distracted. I'm disorganized. I'm most certainly not effective so not only is it harder, IT TAKES LONGER. . . leaving me with less time to do the other things. The things that make life worth living. So I hereby declare this needs to end. I know I'm not the only one. We all need to start taking better care of ourselves. Which actually leads nicely into the other thing that I've wanted to blog about, but my meditation practice is calling. Don't want to work too much, right? Here is Dan John's original blog post regarding this if you're interesting. He's a very interesting guy! www.t-nation.com/training/work-rest-play-pray-explained As an empath, I struggle in certain energetic situations. It isn't always large crowds. It could be one specific person that is negative or "throws" their energy around (or at you). Some days it feels like I am not meant to exist in a social world and would rather hole up in my bedroom. Since that isn't exactly an option (though I am working on it), I have learned that I needed a practice of energetic protection and cleansing (beyond Reiki).
To protect myself from everyone else's unwanted "crap" I have a little thing I do in the morning. My teacher taught me her protection and I modified it a little for myself. I see myself enveloped with light. Literally enveloped. My teacher suggested seeing a light surrounding myself but I find it easier to almost picture a sleeping bag that I step into and pull it over me like a hood. I picture it made of light. I mostly picture white light but some days it has been purple or more golden. I let me intuition guide me. I set the intention that this light will protect me from (I literally say this) everyone else's sh*t, keep my shit from them, and to only let love and light through. That's all I do. Then after I am home from work I cleanse myself with Palo Santo spray I made from the essential oil. I have this 2 oz glass spray bottle that I filled a quarter of the way up with witch hazel (to distribute the oil evenly), 12 drops of palo santo oil, and the rest with distilled water. I shake it when I get home and spray all over myself. I hope this helps any other empaths out there exist in the crazy energy of the world! Feel free to pass along any of your rituals to help others! I love to look at myself. Well, hmmm. Scratch that. I love to improve myself. That starts with a good hard look in the mirror. No matter what, knowing where you are is the first step.
The second step is knowing where you want to go. I have known I have wanted to speak to a large audience for a while now but I have been struggling with the exact way to do it. I decided I wanted to start a YouTube channel. (It isn't private but I am not advertising it right now. ) I thought that perhaps if I started a little show I would get used to speaking to people (even if it isn't live) and having to form thoughts out loud for an audience. I thought it would be good experience and maybe I would even get good at it and it might go somewhere (though, YouTube star is certainly not the goal). I am on my third episode. It is surprisingly hard to edit these videos. . . at least on the YouTube site. At this point, that's what I've got and where I'm starting. What I am getting at is though I thought I had all of this funny content about my opinions of the world and how ridiculous I sometimes find people. I meant it strictly for comedic value. So I made an outline and I recorded a video last week. It forced me to really look at myself and my opinions and I realized, I sounded like a terrible person. All I was talking about was how some people get all of the luck and I end up on the short end of the stuck (not true) and how people drive me crazy with their selfish-ness (I was sounding pretty selfish myself). I sounded like a b*tch that just complains. But that isn't me? How could that be me? I'm all love and light, damnit! I've worked hard to get here! Well, it most certainly was me. (Actually I got with some of my friends later in the week and released the junk that was coming up but this isn't to get into the energy work side of this story.) And I needed that reality check. I needed to look myself in the mirror and say, "is something triggering this? Is this stuff that's coming up even mine?" I guess what I'm saying is it happens to the best of us. It's okay to get a wake up call as long as you answer it. I'm just sitting here enjoying my frozen blueberries thinking about how lucky I am right now. I am home early from my "real" job. I already worked out (I'm not doing The Ultimate Yogi anymore). Our front door is wide open to let in the beautiful weather. And I have a computer to express myself. I might need some more blueberries.
Long ago I decided that I had figured out the meaning of life. I decided this when I was in college and spent a lot of time intoxicated. While I don't need to self medicate myself anymore, I still think I was right. I had decided that the meaning of life was "candy coatings." What the hell does she mean by that? Well, if you hadn't already figured it out, I am ready and raring to tell you. Candy coatings are those moments where you are sitting fully in love. The easiest way for me to get into that place is to sit with my boyfriend on our screened-in porch with a cup of coffee made from freshly ground beans and whitened with unsweetened almond milk on a day where I don't have to go to "work." In that moment I am pure happiness. I am able to stay in the moment and just feel happy. To be love. That is why I believe that candy coatings are the meaning of life. I believe we are all working toward feeling that way all the time. Working toward complete contentment with our life and our existence and just being in this world. So on that note I wish you lots of candy coatings and love until next time. You would think I would start my blog off with a post about myself. Well, that is just not how I do things. If you are interested in learning more about me and what I do click here. Instead I am going to talk about the Ultimate Yogi challenge I have been doing.
I purchased the Ultimate Yogi program years ago. I was working out very seriously at the time. I was doing P90X, Insanity, and training for a marathon. . . all at once. If you don't know what P90X and Insanity are, they are at home workout programs by Beachbody. Look them up, they're actually very good. But they are no joke and I was spending a good portion of my day working out. Surprisingly, I aggravated an old knee injury and after my long run on a Saturday couldn't put weight on my left leg on a Sunday. I was pretty limited so I starting exploring yoga again. Bikram yoga had healed my knees years before. . . well, healed might be a strong word considering I did injure them again. . . and made it so I was able to run again. I also wanted something serious, and the Ultimate Yogi seemed serious. I did try it when I first bought it. The practices themselves are about 70 minutes, plus 20 minutes of an ab routine 3 days a week, PLUS meditation (10, 20, or 30 minutes). I suppose it isn't too surprising that it was easy for me to find plenty of excuses not to take that much time out of my day to do this and could never really complete more than 2 weeks the times I tried to do the program. It only took me 5 years to come back to it, but here I am. The program is 108 days long, broken into 3 chunks. Each chunk has a different rotation of DVDs, longer meditation time than the last, and ends with a session of more and more sun salutations. I am 35 days in. Tomorrow is the last day of the first "segment." I missed a few days because I was very sick and I decided to just push it off instead of trying to double up on these super long workouts. I started it with the intention of finishing exactly before we leave for Cancun. I have been working out regularly and just have a final 10 lbs I would like to lose before I have to wear a bathing suit in public! I didn't want to force it off and I thought this would be a good way to slowly take it off through being mindful and restoring my body from the tough workouts and running I had been doing. I really love this program. It's hard. I'm currently working two jobs and trying to get my reiki business off the ground so my free time is certainly limited. It isn't easy setting aside that much time in my day. It has become so grounding for me. My work place doesn't aggravate me like it has. I can be calmer and better at my job. I am a better and more patient person. I am truly starting to love my life. I also feel like I am able to tap into my intuition better and receive messages from my higher self. I feel better at allowing and not fighting the world. My flexibility has improved. And fast! And dramatically. Not even a third of the way in! I cannot wait to see what the next DVDs are like and what else happens next! |
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