To all men, you may want to close this window if you aren’t man enough to hear about “gurl stuff.” To all the ladies, sorry if this is TMI.
Its that time of the month again and here I am wondering why I want to cry. I feel like I make so much progress moving forward (and remember this is still the hormones talking) only to all of a sudden feel like the biggest failure ever. I’m sitting in the dark watching the Kardashians wishing I had a talk show and could have a career as a model feeling completely tearful. And every month I go through this. I feel completely halted in my side businesses because I just can’t deal with them or anything extra. And on top of all this, I can’t work out right now due to very damaged toes. Trust me, I tried. The pressure is not worth it. And I wonder why I have the nerve to think I can start a business of my own.
But then I remember that everything we go through is to benefit our purpose. Maybe I will have a client one day whom I can assist with their hormonal issues. Maybe I’m about to learn something that will help other women. Or maybe I’m just supposed to find ways to heal myself so that this doesn’t plague me when I’m in the middle of my true calling and in the real work I’m here to do. It’s not my job to predict. Just be.
Who knows what the future will bring but for today I’m gonna give myself a break and just be. I’m going to allow this to wash over me and keep my eyes and ears open to what the universe is trying to teach me. And cry. I’m definitely going to cry.
We officially conquered a raw diet. . . for 20 days. And now that it's over, it's over. I felt awesome, but I was so hungry! I don't feel hungry anymore, but I feel like dirt. If anything I feel like not eating because I feel so bloated when I try to go back to eat normally. And for some reason I've decided this matters.
Mostly I feel like I'm supposed to have something to say. I lost 8 lbs. I felt so comfortable in my body. I felt like I was allowed to have my boyfriend be attracted to me again. But why do I need all that? Why can't I allow that now?
I wanted to use this to feel amazing. But I have more realized that I want to feel amazing all the time because I know I can feel amazing, not because I purchased and ate certain food (though, I do know raw food has a higher vibration than cooked food and believe that's better for me).
So we have been eating [mostly] only raw foods since Friday (today is Monday). Why do I say mostly? Because, for real, I’m not not drinking a splash of cashew milk in my banana, spinach, and avocado smoothie. I’m not not drinking tea because the tea leaves were heated so they don’t mold. Is it as healthy and good? Probably not but I want a warm cup of herbal tea because it’s cold. And I want a dash of hot sauce on my giant plate of raw vegetables to make them taste amazing. So would some people say this isn’t 100% raw? Definitely. We are definitely not making ourselves crazy and insane over every tiny bit of anything that goes in our mouths. But we aren’t using that as an excuse to put commercial ketchup on our food either. We just want to see if this makes us feel better. Feel more able to enjoy and experience life by energizing our bodies with lots of raw, unprocessed fruits and vegetables. I think we can do that and put a little hot sauce (that does have a little sugar) on our food. You don’t have to agree. Jody realized he wasn’t sure the last time he had an apple. I mean, how crazy is that? That we used to avoid fruit because of the sugar. . .
So how is it going? Well, there are donuts in the break room at work so that’s pretty lame but I’m pretty unphased to be honest. We made the child a sausage with his dinner of raw jicama, carrot, and cucumber salad (we try to serve as an example of how to treat his body, but we don’t believe in forcing an extreme way of eating on him until we try it out first. If we get done with these 20 days and we’re like, “it’s the holy grail,” well then we’re probably not going to do that. . .). Jody said his mouth was watering over the sausage. It honestly smelled salty and ick to me. I really don’t feel like I notice much. I don’t feel extra hungry. I don’t feel like cheating. However, it is only day 4 so it’s pretty early to say. I did a pretty decent workout yesterday (Insanity) and we moved around a ton of furniture in the house so I guess my energy levels are pretty good.
I did have a wicked headache Friday night (day 1). It could have been purely coincidence. To be fair, I feel a bit beat today as well. . . but nothing too bad.
So here we are. On day 4. Go us!
So we’re trying this new thing. As we do. Because I’m always on a quest for better. To feel better. To be better. To live better. To live more simply and this seemed to fit all of those things. Jody and I are trying a 20 day raw challenge. Why raw, you ask... Well, because it sounded good. I listen to this comedian/amazing inspirational dude, Kyle Cease, and he said that his life was changed by eating raw for 90 days. And I thought to myself, gee, a) I have digestive problems, this could be good and b) I want a changed life!
First we were going to do a month. I don’t know why. Then we were going to do 2 weeks because, well, frankly that sounded easier and more than enough time to see the effect on my digestion and energy. And this was going to happen on January 2nd. So we had time to play with recipes and make some side dishes that were raw and learn more about it. Then two days ago we realized we were low on groceries and we should just do it now until Thanksgiving. So 20 days it is.
My goal is to do this and then blog everyday about what we did and what we learned. Today, so far, I’ve had a mango and fermented cauliflower so food wise, not much to report. But what I did learn is that a lot of teas are heated to keep them from molding. Now, I can’t say I won’t have tea this entire time. More food for thought.
So far I really just feel hungry. Since were shopping tonight I don’t have a lot of snacks prepared for moments like this so today will likely be one of the hardest days.
So stay tuned! Hopefully I’ll have some interesting things to report on throughout this journey...